Just one more day
by Reina Komatsu
Summary: A short drabble about how Jack reflect on his relationship with the Doctor. Rated M for mentions of sex and regeneration .


**Author's note:**

This is a short story I've written in school. I had Jack and the Doctor on my mind the whole time so I decided to write it again. I've change some things form the original because 1. It made no sense when I translated it to English. 2. I wanted it to feel like a Jack/doctor Fanfic.

Jack had been awake all night. The guilt felt like lump in his stomach and it made him nauseous. The lump that he had been walking around with a long time. The lump that just got bigger with all the time he had wasted . All the days, months and years, those are now gone. He wasted away on a lie. He was not happy. He would never be happy unless he did something about it.

He knew he should be happy, he had everything. The Dream job, a house, colleagues he could die a hundred times for, the perfect Husband who loved him with both his hearts if not more, two beautiful daughters who saw him as their hero and a third child on the way.

He had everything that he ever dreamed of and wanted, so why was he still not satisfied? Why did he felt so empty?

They had slowly drifted apart. He hadn't kissed the Doctor in what felt like an eternity. He didn't remember last time they made love with each other. How long had it been since he held him close, letting him listen to his heartbeat while he told him how much he appreciated him. All that seemed like a long time ago. He felt no love for him any longer. He couldn't even remember if he had loved him in the first place. The love in his heart had now been replaced with pain, grief and sorrow.

Jack tough back at the day he married The Doctor. It had been so long ago. It had taken Jack a while to convince the Doctor that marriage was a good idea. The wedding wasn't big, They had only invited Martha, Wilfred, Sarah Jane and her son and of course the Torchwood team. He had been so blinded by love at the moment to not even consider the possibility that maybe he would not love him one day. It really was love that he felt that day and the years to come, but the feeling just felt so strange and foreign now.

It pained him to see his lover regenerate by the radiation knowing there was nothing he could do. To see the doctor in so much agony was hurting him and he could just imagine how the Doctor felt every time he saw him died. He cloud only blame himself for not benign there when the Doctor needed him the most. If only he had ran faster. Then everything would be different. Maybe he wouldn't lost his feelings for the Doctor.

Jack tried to love the new Doctor like he loved the first two but he just couldn't. He knew it was still the Doctor but it was agonizing to see him. For Jack the new Doctor was just someone who had the same memories as The Doctor. This Doctor was not his Doctor. He could never be his Doctor.

He'd tried so many times to make love to the Doctor in his body but he could never look him in the eyes. It was all just casual sex, nothing more, no feelings for each other involved anymore. He knew this wasn't fair against his lover but he couldn't help it. It felt like he was unfaithful against his husband. It just seemed wrong and honestly a bit disgusting.

He didn't care anymore about The Doctor feelings. The Doctor could be how devastated and hearts broken as he wanted. This time Jack wouldn't be there to make it all better like he used to. This time he would be the reason to the Doctors distress.

Today was the day. Today Jack would he do the right thing. He would get rid of the lump in the stomach and finally break free. It was a beautiful day, he could determine it merely by looking out the bedroom window. He sat up in bed and began to gather courage to say what screamed in his head, desperately wanting to come out. Not just staying in his mind, bugging him for the rest of his life.

Jack opened his mouth but nothing came out. He just looked at The Doctor who was sleeping peacefully in the morning light. He could not help to smiling slightly to himself. It was a beautiful day to take the family out on a Saturday picnic at the park and maybe, just maybe find his feelings for the Doctor again. It would be a shame to ruin such a lovely day. He could do it, Just one more day.


End file.
